This are the best Barney Stinson zitate ever
I like HIMYM and wht tell you, about this zitate?
Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I”m awesome. I”m your bro-I”m Broda!
When I am getting sad
When I am getting sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.
How to run a marathon
How to run a marathon: “Step one, you start running. There is no step two.”
Reasons to date a girl
There are only two reasons to date a girl you”ve already dated: breast implants.
Okay, pep talk!
Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can”t. You”re way out of practice and she”s way too hot for you. So, remember, it”s not about scoring. It”s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can”t. Go get “em, tiger!
Three days rule
Seriously. Jesus started the whole “wait three days” thing.
He waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn”t have even heard that he died. They”d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I DIED yesterday!” and then they”d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…” and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and then the dude would be like “Uh okayy, whatever you say, bro…” And he”s not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody”s busy, doing chores, workin” the loom, trimmin” the beard, NO. He waited the exact right number of days, THREE. Plus it”s SUNDAY, so everyone”s in church already, they”re all in there “Oh no, Jesus is DEAD”, then BAM! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone”s totally psyched, and FYI, that”s when he invented the high five. Three days. We wait three days to call a woman, because that”s how long Jesus wants us to wait…. True story.
Peed on a church?
Ted: You peed on a church?
Barney: I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk!
Somebody”s gotta nail the receptionist
Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor or the lawyer. Somebody”s gotta nail the receptionist.
Getting a pedicure
If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don”t think there would”ve been a feature about it in Details magazine.
Suits are for the living
Suits are for the living. That”s why, when it”s my time to R.I.P. I”m going out of this world the same way I came into it. BUCK NAKED. Yeah. It”s gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies.
=) Maybe not the best but the most are good sentences =)
Loved the jesus part lol
They”d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I DIED yesterday!” and then they”d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…”
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